Time for me

Time for just me... I got my 5th tattoo today.
I have been pretty busy over the last few weeks so today was just for me. I have been planning my tattoo for a very long time. I have a (H) that is the stem of Lilies of the Valley (fav flower), A lizard, Impatient flowers, and my last dog (Hunter)s paw print. Hunters paw print was already on my low back just to the right. Today I added Bagel's paw print just above and to the left of the other one. What I like even more about this one is that there is a mouse in the middle of my back painting the paw print on. The mouse is one that my mom drew when we did art work at church. It is making me smile just knowing a piece of her is there. My tattoo artist loved the idea and had never done one like that. I hope to get picture to share but once it is healed of course.

Other then that I have been helping with Stephs wedding. Made the cake topper, Grooms cake which was a Muskie fish, altering Mandy's dress, and anything needed on the wedding day.
At work I am about to reach my four year anniversary as a PTA on the 14th. That of course means review time. September will be six years with the company too. Not to worried about the review. I reach my goals pretty much every month except the ten weeks I missed due to shoulder surgery. Don't think I can get in trouble for that!!!
Just this past week I have started two short term projects at Work. The Waterford WI area is pretty small and I had told my boss I wanted to get involved more with the community. That was about a month ago and then right after that a woman from a Senior living home stopped in to see if there was any way a therapist would come to their place and teach some excersises. I have set up with them to go every other Tuesday from 11-12 for six weeks to teach simple stretches and strengthening. We met this week for the first time. Very sweet people and full of hugs too.:)
On top of that program Racine County has a Fall Prevention program that we are hosting for seven Thursdays in a row. This too started this week. I only need to teach at three of the sessions though. Two to go! This progam is very nice. It is only $10 to join which pays for handouts and weights. My only problem with it was when they show up I have to rearrange my clinic. Oh well.
So all that was on top of also seeing patients all day. Sometimes the clinic is slower but of course not now. We are seeing someone about every 15-30 minutes and most patients are with me for a hour to a hour and a half. BUSY WEEK! :)
Yesterday I only worked till one which still put me into overtime. I then drove to Kenosha to get my divorce paperwork. Court date is 08-08-08. Strange!!!
Tomorrow will be fun. Heading down to Mandy's to go with her and a friend to Chicago. We are meeting one more friend to see Wicked then dinner. Really I am just happy to get Garretts popcorn. :)
Thats it for now.

Holy Cow!

I doubt anyone even looks at this blog anymore since it has been over a year since I have been in to update it. I suck!!! Well it has been over a year since I moved out on my own. I have been through a lot over this past year like everyone else probably has. The biggest thing is still the moving on alone.
It has been very hard not having someone at home to talk to and their warm arms to curl in. I really miss having my husband by my side but I know that it has acctually been way longer than this past year since we were really at each others side. Our marriage has not been mean or angry but just void. I think I deserve to be with someone that wants to love me and be with me. Someone that wants to share their thoughts and heart. I don't think I ever got Jims heart but only because he was not able to give it. If he wanted me over this past year he could have put some effort into letting me know what I meant to him. It hurts so much that I spent eleven years with someone and barely a tear was shed by him when I said that we need to move on. How unlovable am I?
Over the year I have continued to bring my dog over to Jim for him to help in her care as well as my dumb hope those moments of seeing me would bring Jim to his senses. Why would I do that to myself? I can't count to times I left his house to head to my apartment crying. My thoughts being again he just sat there and didn't say how much he missed me and loves me. DUMB!!!!!!!!!
We have now put in for a divorce. I just think of the Johnny Cash song "Burn". It has been a long time coming and needs to be done but my heart BURNS BURNS BURNS. I love parts of him and always will! I want to be happy on the inside.
All I think is that so many other people are going through so much more and no one needs to hear me complain. There are worse things in the world then a hurting heart. Helping others get through what is hurting them helps me get through the day.

Tired

It has been a long last couple of weeks. The week I was going to start moving my sister needed to stay over at the house due to her assistants were on vacation. POOR MANDY!!! She went to work with me everyday. All my patients loved her! (Of Course) We(Me, Marie, Mandy) went to the apartment that Wednesday to clean then Friday we started moving me in. I owe Marie my life for the DEEP cleaning she did in the kitchen cabinets. Wood and cooking oil do not go good together!
By Sunday night I was exhausted. Worked the next week which was long but not bad. The hard part was getting used to bringing Bagel to the house so Jim can see and take care of her in the evenings. Not sure how it will work long term but I would have to have someone take Bagel out each evening otherwise.
Then this past weekend...
Bachlorette party Friday night. Home at 1:00am. The girls slept over and I got in trouble for the dogs(Bagel & Diva) barking non stop when we were gone. They are fine when we were there but apparently they are obnoxious once they are alone together. I sent out my deepest apology to all my new neighbors on Saturday.
Saturday morning...30 minute drive to Mandy's early to drop her and the dogs off at her place and Lisa at work. Then to my dads by 9:00am to get my brakes replaced. Once done there at 1:00pm run get Bagel and go back 30 minutes to the vet by my place because Bagel has a bladder infection and needed antibiotics. Then back another 30 minutes to Mandy's to get ready for the most fun 50Th birthday party. Had a wonderful time and celebrate the life so far of a wonderful man!!! Back to Mandy's then home again. 30 minutes of course.
Sunday I slept in a little but just till 8am so I could get down to Mandy's and to Dad's by 12:30-1:00pm for Easter. We had a wonderful meal and watched some movies. We got to spend time with Lisa again once she was done with work. Mandy to bed and I went home again. It felt so good to lay down by then and my right eye had been bugging me since Friday so closing it put me right to sleep.
I am still tired and getting used to all the changes in my life but know that I have MANY people around me that are very supportive and love me. I will have to post some pics of the new place soon. I actually have a craft/art room and a hallway!!! I also like that my bed only touches one wall vs. three!!!

It is going to be a good thing...

It is going to be a good thing that I am moving out. I have decided I can not stay where I am any longer. I will be moving with my Bagel Dog on April 1st to an apartment. My husband and I have tried counceling and may continue but we are seperating to see if we can try to work things out or not.
When I told him I was leaving and found a place he was very calm (TO CALM) and asked me if I was taking the dog. We have been going over the "who gets what" details and taking each day at a time. The new place is less than five minutes from where I was living and He will be caring for Bagel during the weekdays due to my work hours are to long to make her wait to go out.
I look forward to haveing friends and family over soon to see where I am.

Past month

One month has passed. Short and sweet... I am in counseling for my marriage. We have been together for ten years and married seven. I am not sure where this will lead us and if we are heading there together. Time will tell. Only a few sessions in and topics have made me think even more. I only wish I knew what my husband was thinking. He is known for being pretty quiet but he is around ME too! Sometimes even more. He just turned 39 on 2-2-07. I hoped with age would come more ability to interact with others for him. How much longer can I sit in silence?

me at super dawg

I was told I look tough in this picture. I took it myself but did not think it was bad. What do you think? 

One of the views from our room in Tenn.

 

It was beautiful!!!

 

Steph and the 200 year old fireplace

 

2006

What a year!!! It is 2007. How did that happen? One moment I am laughing and playing a game with friends in 2006 them POOF it becomes a whole different year!
Well for me I hope this is a better year that the last... Not that 2006 was terrible. Many good times and memories came about last year. The last few months were busy and fun. I got to take a trip to Tennessee with Mandy and Steph. What fun!!! Not sure how smart it is to climb a 200 year old fireplace, but why else would it be there? I really needed to get away and they were perfect people to help me forget my worries.
Club Jr got together for our Christmas celebration. I am not good at acting out "The Night Before Christmas" but I laugh so hard as Steph reads it that I enjoy it each year. Reminds me of very good times with my mother and her wonderful friends that made up the original Club girls.
Church services we saw on Christmas Eve were fantastic!!! Even Jim seemed amazed by all that was done at Willow. Over to Dads for dinner after church. We had a wonderful time and so did the four dogs that were there.
Christmas morning... Bagel burger assembly. Somehow reminds me of the days working in a factory. My Brother got to my sisters at 7am ready to assemble and be "quality control". Forty-eight sandwiches later we left for Aunt Barbs. Not all the family was there but Molly, Mike, and Brock got to be there with us. Due to bad weather in the way of their flight to Colorado. YEAH!!!!! :)
Katie was there with the kids(kick in my heart). Aunt Barb and Pete with their new piercing. If you ask me they deserve to do ANYTHING they want. For all they do for others and all they have been through. YOU GO GIRL...And guy!!!
Well, that brings me to new years. Dropped Jim off at a friends then came home to ring in the new year with Mandy, Marie, and Allison (AKA Lisa). It was a wonderful night of card games and made up board games like when Mandy and I were small.
I hope everyone has great memories of last year and will continue collecting them in this new year!!!